Parental Alienation Accusations: An Intolerable Status Quo for Victims of Domestic Violence

The Coalition of Shelters for Women Victims of Domestic Violence (RMFVVC), the National Association of Women and Law (ANFD), and Juripop are sounding the alarm about the credit given to the pseudo-concept of parental alienation, which discourages women from reporting violence and forces children to maintain relationships that are harmful to their safety and well-being.

This situation takes Quebec backward in the fight against domestic violence, counter to the goals of the Specialized Court for Sexual and Domestic Violence and the establishment of a Commissioner for the Welfare and Rights of Children. Efforts to rebuild victims’ trust in the justice system and promote the best interests of the child are futile if youth and family courts and youth protection services do not follow suit.

The use of parental alienation accusations in the context of post-separation domestic violence is far from a new strategy. Many ex-partners seeking to divert attention from their violence within the family do not hesitate to wield this concept and manipulate it to their advantage, with success.

“We must listen to the voices of women who, in recent weeks, have multiplied in public spaces and in shelters, sharing strikingly similar experiences, to grasp the extent of the individual injustices and the collective problem we face,” declares Mathilde Trou, co-head of policy files at RMFVVC. “If I had known, I wouldn’t have reported it”; “my situation worsened after I reported it”; “my children would have been better protected if I hadn’t said anything”: how many more women will be forced to remain in a violent relationship knowing that the system will endanger their children?

“The credit given to this pseudo-concept by the courts and youth protection staff has disastrous consequences: denial of the child’s voice and will, inability for mothers to protect their children from domestic violence, including post-separation violence, and failure to recognize the violence suffered and the fears expressed by women,” adds Suzanne Zaccour, Director of Legal Affairs at ANFD.

Faced with these situations in their respective practices, the three organizations are calling on the Minister of Justice, Mr. Simon Jolin-Barrette, and the Minister responsible for Social Services, Mr. Lionel Carmant, to demand swift and concrete actions. “A change must occur in how we respond to the needs of children who are victims of violence. Analyzing a situation of domestic violence through the lens of parental alienation obscures the violence endured and the many consequences that arise from it; this must end,” emphasizes Justine Fortin, lawyer and Director of Services for Victims and Survivors at Juripop.

• To legislate to prohibit accusations of parental alienation, as recommended by the UN Special Rapporteur on violence against women and girls;
• To require ongoing and adequate training on domestic violence for all stakeholders, including youth protection workers – as recommended by the report of the Special Commission on the Rights of Children and Youth Protection – in order to promote understanding and identification of coercive control and post-separation violence and their impacts on women and children;
• To establish new mechanisms and appropriate practices to listen to and respect the voice of children in the justice system.”

“The myth that children escape violence if it is not directed at them is persistent. Despite their mother’s best efforts to protect them, children are also victims of domestic violence, whether or not they are specifically targeted by the violence and control strategies.

The climate of fear at home has consequences on children’s development, as they sense their mother’s distress and perceive the power dynamics established by the father. Living in such insecurity, children develop protective and adaptive strategies, leading to lasting effects: nightmares, anxiety, low self-esteem, sadness, post-traumatic stress symptoms, learning difficulties, and more.

“We must break free from this confusion. The exercise of violence is a parental choice that is not exclusive to the couple’s relationship and reflects the inadequate parenting capabilities of the violent parent. The question is not whether the child is attached to the violent parent or whether that parent loves them, but rather what the needs of this child victim are and how the justice system can protect them from the violent choices of their parent,” concludes Justine Fortin.